Twilight: Baking Dawn
by VictorSage
Summary: Edward has sexy muscles and sex with Bella and Jacob.
1. Chapter 1

"Look out Edward!" said Bella. "There are zombies!"

Edward turned to face the zombies, his sexy muscles rippling with rage and sexiness.

"You zombies! Go back where you came or I will kill you with my sexy muscles and awesome hair!"

But the zombies did not run away because they were zombies so Edward got angry because of all the rage in his sexy muscles.

"Now you die again zombies" he said and he pulled out a machine gun that shot nuclear warheads instead of bullets with his sexy muscles.

Edward fired the nuclear warheads into the evil zombies while Bella was looking at his sexy muscles and making love to them while he shot the zombies.

"Oh, Edward" she said. You are so romantic. I will make love to your sexy muscles while you shoot zombies with your machine gun that shoots nuclear warheads instead of bullets.

"Stop making love to him!" said Jacob who was there now. "I have sexy muscles to!"

"Oh noes ):" said Bella "You have sexy muscles to! Now I feel conflicted because there are too many sexy muscles!"

Later that week Edward and Bella and Edwards sexy muscles were at school having sexing when Jacob was there.

"You are having sexing with him but I also have sexy muscles and want to have sexing with you!" said Jacob.

"Look out Jacob!" said Edward "There are zombies behind you!"

Edward ran at the zombies and picked up a conveniently placed American flag and impaled the zombies with his flag and sexy muscles."

"Thank you Edward" said Jacob. "You killed the zombies with your sexy muscles and now I'm not killed by zombies. Now I like your sexy muscles."

Jacob started sexing Edwards sexy muscles while Bella watched and it was totally hot.

Later that day Edward, Bella, Jacob and Edwards sexy muscles went to the movies to see Twilight: New Moon.

"This movies is very good" said Edward. "It has lots of sexy muscles in it that are sexy"

"I Danube" agreed Jacob who was sexing Edwards sexy muscles.

Bella was also there

"Look out Edward." Jacob said. "More zombies."

Edward turned to face the zombies but he couldn't kill them because there was too teen angst inside his sexy muscles so he fell over.

"NOOO" said Bella as she ran to Edward and his sexy muscles but then a zombie killed her!

Later that day, Edward and Jacob and Edwards sexy muscles went to have lunch.

"I must eat lots good food." Said Edward. "For to make my sexy muscles big."

So they went to Hungry Jacks because the burgers are better at Hungry Jacks and got Edward's sexy muscles some food from Hungry Jacks were the burgers are better and then Edward and Jacob had sexing.

Later that week, Bella was a zombie and she came and tried to sexing with Edward.

"No!" said Jacob. "He is my sexy muscles to sex with!" and he tried to stop her but there was too much teen angst so he died and then Edward had sexing with zombie Bella.

Later that day, Edward and Bella found a time machine and went to Harry Potter.

"Oh noes):" said Edward. Vampires don't like the sun in Harry Potter so he died because of the sun.

Later that day, Zombie Bella went to Hogwarts where she became a student.

"You are late to class" said Snape to Bella. "as a punishment, you must sexing Hermione in front of the class that you are in front of."

Zombie Bella and Hermione had sexing together.

Later that day, Hogwarts got attacked by zombies.

"Arrrgh!" said Dumbledore "Hogwarts is attacked by zombies"

Dumbledore got eaten by a zombie but Harry Potter killed the zombies with his machine gun and then Dumbledore, Harry Potter and Bella went to the Matrix to get away from the zombies.


	2. Chapter 2

Neo was at the computer making a very goodly story for the internet.

"I am at the computer and my story is very goodly" he said.

But then Zombie Bella and Zombie Dumbledore and Harry Potter were there.

"Why are you here instead of in Harry Potter world." Said Neo.

"Harry Potter world is invaded by zombies so we run away to the Matrix" replied Bella to Neo.

"Then I will make you some pancakes" said Neo as he went to make some pancakes.

"Yay I'm a zombie now so I won't get teen angst any more" said Bella because zombies don't get teen angst."

"Oh noes):" said Dumbledore. "Harry is not a zombies so he will get teen angst.

Then Harry died from teen angst.

"I am back with the pancakes" said Neo.

"Mmmm" Said Dumbledore. "These pancakes are very goodly."

"But all I have is waffles ):" said Neo. "Because I made all my pancakes for you." And then he ate a waffle.

"That is very badly" said Dumbledore.

"Yes" said Neo. "Very badly so I will kill you!"

Neo pulled out a gun and shot everybody till they were dead.

"Yay!" said Neo. "Now I can write a very goodly story."

He wrote

_And then Uncle Scrooge was mad at looey dooey and the other one._

"_I'm very mad!" said Uncle Scrooge. "I will send you to prison because of my angry!"_

_Uncle Scrooge called up the poo lice to arrest looey dooey and the other one but looey dooey and the other one didn't want to go to jail so they killed him._

"_Why did you kill him!" said the police officer who was already there._

"_He was going to make us jail!" said hooey looey and the other one._

"_Well you are going to jail for killing him!" the police officer replied as he put them in jail forever for killing him._

"There!" said Neo. "I have finished a very goodly story for the internet!"

"But Neo!" said Agent Smith. "How can you when you have no mouth." And then Neo had no mouth.

"Oh no!" Mr Anderson said after. "Zombies!"

And then zombies came and ate Neo's brain but because Neo couldn't eat brains because he had no mouth he made a bad zombie.


	3. Chapter 3

Later that day, Neo got better from the zombies because he had Panadols.

"Yay!" said Neo. "Now I am better and will have a very goodly story to put on the internet"

He wrote

_Batman was there but then a jaywalker happened._

"_Why you jaywalk!" said Batman_

"_Because I don't want to walk across at designated crossing point!" replied jaywalker._

_So Batman killed him._

"Happy!" said Neo. "Now I publish very good story on website on the internet!"

Neo went to the computer to put his fanfic on the internet but there was a massage on it.

"Massage! Why you one computer!" he said "I want to publish very goodly Batman fanfic but there is massage on computer!"

"You following white rabbit and the Matrix!" say massage to Neo and then the Matrix happen.

"Oh no!" said Morpheus "Neo die from Agent Smith"

"Don't worry" said Oracle "He will get better in The Matrix Online MMORPG."

But then, The Matrix Online MMORPG gets cancelled because of World of Warcraft leaving unfinished plot arc and Neo still dead!

"We are only black people in this movie" said Oracle to Morpheus. "So we should make sexing.

Morpheus and Oracle make sexing and later a baby happens and the baby is Samuel L. Jackson in Snakes on a Plane.

"Oh noes ):" said Samuel L. Jackson. "There are snakes on this plane so I cannot writing very goodly fanfic!"

But I did not see second half of Snakes on a Plane so Bella and Edward are in Harry Potter world again.

"Lets have sexing in sexy uniforms!" said Edward and then they sexinged with Edwards sexy muscles.

But then Snape was there.

"You can no sexing in here! This is school!"

But then a zombie killed him and made him a zombie so Bella sexinged Zombie Snape.

"NOOO!" said Jacob "He no sexy muscles!"

"Arrrr" replied Bella "He does no sexy muscles!"

And then she dies from teen angst so Jacob and Edward make sexing some more.

Later that Day Harry Potter and Hermione where with Jacob and Edward sexing there sexy muscles.

"Edwards so romantic and his sexy muscles are sexy" said Hermione to Edward as she sexinged his sexy muscles.

But then the sun happened so Edward died because Harry Potter World vampires don't like the sun so she sexinged Jacob instead and her baby was Ash Ketchup for Poekemon.

"Nevermore! Nevermore!" said the Poekemon while Ash Ketchup catched them.

"Wow, you have big pokeballs" said Misty. "Lets have sexing!"

Later that day, Bella and Edward went to the movies.

"There is much popcorn here" said Edward.

"Much popcorn good?" replied Bella

"Good but zombie behind you!"  
>zombie eat Bella.<p>

"I kill you for kill Bella zombie" said Edward and he kill zombie.

Then poo lice arrest Edward for kill zombie and he go to prison forever.


	4. Chapter 4

Edward was in prison having sexing with sexy people when an explosion happened.

"Why you happen explosion!" say Edward. "You are interrupt sexing!"

"Prison to easy!" reply explosion. "Now you are work in sulphur mine forever!"

Then explosion takes Edward to sulphur mine.

Meanwhile, Jacob got Dragonball Z and use Dragonball Z to make Bella better.

"Lettuce have sexing!" he said to Bella.

"NO!" said Bella. "I am loving Edwards sexing muscles!"

So Bella and Jacob go to sulphur mine to get Edward out so Bella can have sexing but sulphur mine in Star Wars and stormtrooper kills him dead.


	5. Chapter 5

After the things that happened before, Edward got out of sulphur mine and went to movies to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with Bella.

"This are not good movie" he sayd to Bella.

"There are very few sexy muscles in the British people and I am rarely in it."

"We should danube away" replied Bella sexily so it turned Edward on.

Later, Bella and Edward went back to Edward hose where the made sexing together with Edwards sexy muscles.

"Wow!" said Bella. "This is so romantic because of the sexyness of muscles!"

But then there was a Death Note and Edward picked it up.

"Wow, I have a book. I shood right my name in it so that if I lost it it will be known that it is mine by its finder."

Edward wrote his name in the Death Note and then he died.

"Oh noes):" said Bella. "Now how will we have sexing!" then she died from teen angst.


End file.
